I think I’m finally beginning to understand this disparity that I have when the moon comes up. I mean, to be honest it’s not only when the moon comes up anymore. Without company, I feel complete lonesome. It’s like something is truly missing in my life. I believe in the saying being alone doesn’t define loneliness. I used to jump around with a smile on face, ALWAYS, as if worry lines never existed on my forehead, and forehead was just an empty broad feature.

It’s like everything I’ve gone through dramatically discombobulated my whole mind set. Right to wrong, to wrong.. and to right again. Now I have no idea what right is exactly. I find myself lurking for something, never have I been as content I used to be.  What is it? What am I searching for. My significant other? No, cause without an extent I think I found someone who truly loves me.

Self pity is all I have for myself right now, no drive, no success, no desire. I’m hoping I can find a clear subconscious in time.

I have no idea what in the world I’m talking about.